Bailey Pippin

i haven't been on in a while... there was nothing really to blog about.. but i'll catch you up again.  I have a couple papers for a class i have to do and if i don't i fail, and i have no idea how to do them. But what's more important is the loss my town and school has suffered: Bailey Pippin. Nobody is sure how he died yet all we know is he was electrocuted and found in a puddle. Girls from graham keep telling stories like they know what happened, and frankly its pissing me off. Sorry. We were friends, and i had a crush on him since 6th grade to 8th grade. So yeah i'm a little hurt, upset, and i have been making every thought deep lately. he was only 14 and a freshman. It makes you think. We found out yesterday and in the loving and somewhat stupidity of this town we had a candle light service. Overwhelming right? You would think they would know to let the family mourn, 4-6 days at least. But in the end it really helped them, you know seeing how much people care all the hugs me and my friend talked to his little sister Kayleigh about it after she calmed down enough to talk. She said she can't let go, she shouldn't have to, her brother died she should just acknowledge that he's not coming back. But first i gotta do that. The whole time through the candle light service I was looking around for him, knowing he wasn't going to be there, i kept looking at the door waiting for him to come in and stand in the middle of our circle and tell us "thank you. i wanted to see how much people cared" but it didn't happen and today at the balloon let off, i'm going to be looking for him knowing he isn't going to be there, or walk up to us and say thank you for caring. But he wont. He's gone, and i'm never going to believe it not until after the funeral when he doesn't show up and say thank you, and they lower his body into the dirt. I'm going to tell you about Bailey now.. He was always happy, smiling, up for anything, really good at flips and he loved being outside having his little adventures climbing on everything. Brother Frank told a story at the candle light service last night that made me laugh and cry at the same time. He said "Bailey was a good kid, always getting into trouble. The other day he drove his golf cart into a ditch and asked me to come pull him out and i said 'Bailey, what were you doing?' and he said 'joyriding!' and i said ;well isn't that dangerous?' and he laughed and nodded Bailey was always smiling and he will be missed" he told more stories but i just thought that one was the best. His best friend showed up with his eyes red from crying. Understandable. But what really made me want to cry, was when me and my friends sat around talking about memories... I used to be so nervous around him and just be like "ugh uhm so do you uh like...soup?" i told my friend that and he chuckled and said he was a good looking guy.. I don't know i just miss him. Every time i talk about him now it comes out stupid. I just.. don't want him to be gone. Anyways i'm going to wrap this up with some pictures ok?

I Am Angel

hello everyone, I am Angel. You might not get what most of this blog is about but I'll fill you in. Two years ago is when all of this really started. Two years ago, my house was burned to the ground in some fires... I lost everything, then my dad left that's pretty much it. I know I am making it sound like it is no big deal, and it sounds like no big deal... But when it happens to you, it hurts. A lot. the rest you will pick up on as we go on. so lets go to a more recent thing happening shall we? ok. I was talking to a guy who understood what is what like not having your parents around, of course I still have my mom but she is always at work, and I realized I liked this guy he understood me, helped me, and most of all didn't judge me. Well when I like someone I tell them. How would they know you liked them if you didn't tell them. So I dropped little hints, then I told him. And he said he didn't know who he liked and since my best friend dated his best friend so it would be weird which I understood. Then I got the feeling my best friend, who we will call Jacie, liked him...and as in got a feeling I mean I was talking to my friend and she thought so. but I asked her and she said she did like him. So I shrugged it off you know guy code right? wrong. Me and Jacie got in a argument and she started talking to her friend in class you know really loud so she can be heard by me "No, Em I have a boyfriend now!" "oh really?" "yeah! his name is Tyler" and as she says that she looked at me and glared... funny thing is right after she said that she started flirting with a guy in the class then a guy in computer class after that. So I didn't believe it and I went home, after making mascot:), and texted him asking if this was true and he said yeah and explained. And now he is telling me they don't talk.... I want to tell him about all the guys she flirts with and her "friends with benefits" but I can't I don't know what to do. And that's the drama of today...but the real problem is... I am so confused on who I am... But if you are reading this keep reading because by the time I am done with blogging...you might now me better then I know myself...then maybe you can tell me who I am... now we should get away from the High School Drama for a while and get to what's really going on...
I need to find someone who is like me.
someone I can talk to about everything and they will understand. I can't help but think that I'm never going to be understood. But I know I'm not alone on this... How many of you have been in a situation where you feel alone, like nobody understands, or like you will never find love. well you aren't, somebody does, and you will. And when you do it will be worth the wait.